From the Rector…
Roger Federer recently gave a commencement speech in which he reflected on his career victories. Over the course of his professional career, he has won more than 1,000 matches—about 80% of his total matches. In all those matches, he only won 54% of the points. In other words, he lost almost as many points as he won. Federer pointed out that you can’t dwell on the points you lose. If you do, you risk getting stuck in a rut and unable to pull yourself out. Negative energy is wasted energy. Instead, it’s important to let the past go and focus on what happens next. This mindset is the path to success—not fixating on past setbacks but looking forward to the possibilities of what happens next.
I often wonder what drives people to feel the need to defend themselves, others, or their belief systems. If the motivation is to introduce a concept and help others understand it better, then that seems like a worthwhile purpose. But there is a fine line between clarifying an idea and attempting to persuade someone to change their beliefs. If you have a clear understanding of your own identity and beliefs, it should be enough for you to accept that others have their own identity and beliefs as well. Any desire to make others conform to your views is, at its core, an exercise of the ego.
Jesus rarely calls for those around him to conform. One of his most powerful and often used methods for offering people new ways of thinking is storytelling—particularly through parables. He tells parables to those who have gathered to listen to him or, sometimes, so that others in the vicinity might overhear him. Most of his parables are rather offensive to the hearers, starting with a familiar situation and ending with a twist that challenges their assumptions. Those who hear the parables aren’t even sure why they are offended—and don’t fully understand what Jesus is trying to say—and they walk away, mulling over the disruption to their thinking. Jesus doesn’t give the naysayers that much attention. If his disciples ask for clarification, he is quick to explain, but he often advises them not to go explain it to others. I believe this is because Jesus knows what Federer knows—negative energy is wasted energy.
When we try to prove a point or convince others that their beliefs are flawed, we often find ourselves talking to a wall. Nothing gets through and the other person becomes more entrenched in their position. We get frustrated and the relationship suffers. We may respond by doubling down on our own beliefs’—consequences be damned—or we may grant a one-sided ceasefire no longer participating in conversations that we perceive as divisive. Neither of these options feels satisfying or true to authenticity in our relationships. Occasionally, we find a way to “agree to disagree” in a civilized manner, maybe even finding common ground. It is in these moments that I think we discover a neutrality that can help us heal and move forward into the possibilities of the future.
If negative energy is wasted energy, one might think that positive energy would be productive energy. That is not necessarily the case. Positive energy can be just as wasteful as negative energy, especially if it leads us into false hope or unrealistic thinking. We might find our dreams dashed or our fears encouraged in such a way that saps our optimism and drains our energy. Neutral thinking, on the other hand, helps us stay engaged without putting too much emphasis on outcomes. Neutral energy allows us to step back and allow things to unfold without being so outcome oriented. Instead, we focus on maintaining our identity in any situation and make space for whatever happens next to happen, trusting that the Holy Spirit is present in the midst of things. When we are no longer motivated by fear, anger, or anxiety we become more open to the possibilities of God’s presence in the world. We nurture our hope and joy because these are no longer tied to an outcome but to the knowledge and love of God always present in our life.
Neutral energy is more about releasing and less about resisting. It makes space for God and takes away our perceived responsibility in making something happen. We enter into what some might call “flow.” That creative energy that draws us into the greater possibilities of the world.
Light and Life,
Candice+