From the Rector…
Last week Steve and I went to New Orleans for our annual financial meeting. Every year, we go away somewhere, lock ourselves in a room for ten hours, and argue about money. Actually, it is not quite as dreary as that sounds—we accomplish a lot by reviewing where we stand and discussing our goals and dreams for the future. It is a great way to plan the year ahead and check in with ourselves to see if we’re on track with our long-term objectives. When we’re done, we celebrate with a nice dinner and a fun evening out.
Going out of town to talk finances has helped us shift from constantly arguing about money to only arguing about money one day a year. Being intentional about this conversation annually has helped us clarify what we want out of life and better understand each other person’s perspectives on topics like money, retirement, vacations, and major purchases. We review our spending from the last year and discuss how we want to allocate our money in the year ahead. Nothing is off the table—we talk about everything, from investment strategies to whether or not we will renew our Netflix subscription. We don’t always agree, but we always manage to find a compromise.
Years of negotiating during this annual meeting have taught me a lot about compromise. Compromise is not about agreement; it is about giving up something. It requires both of us to make concessions. Neither of us get our way entirely, but by working together, we find an acceptable solution. Even though we have to let go of certain things to reach a compromise, I’ve found that what I give up often isn’t that great a loss. Typically, my desires were ego-driven in the first place. When I release them, I often discover that the compromise benefits both of us in ways we didn’t expect.
I wonder if that’s what a life in Christ is like. God creates us and looses us on the world, relinquishing sole control over us and allowing us free will. When we let our egos drive our free will, we end up living in the brokenness of the world. But when we offer up our free will as part of our compromise with God, we discover peace and fulfillment in ways we never imagined.
Mary, John the Baptist, Peter, Paul, Isaiah, Amos, Moses, Esther, Hannah—the list goes on—all entered into compromise with God. This compromise is summed up in the Abrahamic Covenant: “I will be your God, and you will be my people.” Advent isn’t just a time of expectant waiting on a big birthday party for Jesus, nor is it simply about getting our act together as we prepare for Christ’s return. It’s an opportunity for us to remember what it means to be a covenant people—what it means to compromise our free will just as God compromised his divinity to be born in a manger in Bethlehem and die on a cross in Jerusalem.
By the way, we kept Disney+ and Paramount+ but decided to get rid of Netflix—which means I’ve got a lot of shows to watch before the New Year.
Light and Life,
Candice+
P. S. If you would like to hear more about how to plan your own annual meeting with your spouse, I’ld be happy to schedule a time to discuss. It really helps reduce the stress and frustration that often comes with financial discussions and planning for the future.