From the Rector…
Whenever I find myself sinking into despair, my first instinct is to distract myself. I read a book, call a friend, listen to music, scroll through TikTok—anything to numb the sadness that starts to take hold of my heart. The last thing I want to do is sit with emotions that make me feel bad. I am afraid of feeling bad. I don’t like it. No one does. No ne chooses pain; we would all rather be free from suffering.
The challenge is that freedom from suffering and avoiding pain are not the same thing. The more I try to distract myself from pain, suffering, and despair, the more those feelings seem to build up inside me. Avoidance does not lead to freedom. True freedom from suffering is less about not suffering and more about not being imprisoned by suffering.
When I’m imprisoned by my anxiety, despair, and pain—I become acutely aware of them. They take up all the space in my mind. No longer can I see how perfectly blue the sky is or find the positive in my experience. Even moments of joy are fleeting, quickly overshadowed by negativity. Being imprisoned in my suffering leaves no room for joy.
This imprisonment, more often than not, is one of my own making. Yes, something may have happened to cause a “bad day,” but other things have also happened that could make it a “good day.” What I choose to focus on determines what I feel. The Buddhists have a saying: when asked how their day is going, they respond, “Sometimes the road is smooth, and other times it’s bumpy.” They seem to understand that both the good and the bad can coexist, and that neither has to define the whole experience. That perspective offers a certain liberation—a freedom that allows suffering to exist beside joy rather than overpower it.
Choosing distraction over suffering doesn’t free us, it only distracts us. Embracing suffering is, paradoxically, a key to freedom. When we face our pain with curiosity, we begin to see it differently. We engage with what causes our hurt in new, deliberate, and intentional ways. It isn’t easy—good and healthy paths rarely are—but life is not always about what is easy. Sometimes it’s about what makes us well, healthy, and whole.
When we embrace our suffering—naming it, questioning it, and seeking what purpose it might hold—we reclaim agency over it. We are empowered to participate in our own healing. The suffering may still exist, but we are no longer its victim. We become free—liberated from the prison of our pain.
There are many ways to practice that liberation: humor, curiosity, gratitude. The point is to live intentionally, not allowing suffering, fear, or anger to dictate the direction of our lives. When those things fill the spaces of our hearts, there is little room left for grace, mercy, love, hope, or compassion. We find ourselves locked in a prison of our own making.
Freedom from suffering doesn’t mean the absence of pain—it means the presence of peace even while in the midst of suffering.
Light and Life and Liberation,
Candice+