Exodus 3:1-15; Psalm 105:1-6, 23-26, 45c; Romans 12:9-21; Matthew 16:21-28
The Rev. Candice B. Frazer
Music feeds the soul. It connects us to our Creator in ways that words cannot. Through music, we can tell our story, express buried feelings, share in our common humanity, and discover that there is something more to this world. Dolly Parton knew that. She knew the power of music and the gift that God had blessed her with. Music was one of the ways Dolly learned to give away what God had given her. It drew her up out of poverty and gave her a roadmap to find success without losing herself along the way.
When I was little, my sister and I would sneak into our mother’s closet and play dress-up. Our inspirations were people like Marilyn Monroe and Dolly Parton—they exuded femininity. We loved walking around in oversized, strappy sandals that were silver or gold, with sparkly costume jewelry and silky fabrics. When we dressed up in sparkles and silk, our posture changed, and we found ourselves walking like models on the catwalk. We felt confident and feminine. We were secure in our identities, even as we giggled and put on way too much makeup.
Dolly’s influence on my sister and me was no small thing. We saw a woman who was willing to be herself without conforming to society’s standards. We didn’t realize it at the time, but an unabashed Dolly Parton helped us become strong women in our own right—women who could hold their own and do so with humor and grace. That can be a challenging experience in our world. People don’t always like strong women. But Dolly seemed to be able to win over just about everyone without lessening who she was.
I was thinking about this sermon when I heard the news that Dolly Parton had died. Specifically, I was thinking about Paul’s words to the Romans that we read this morning. He describes a way of living in community that is grounded in genuine love, humility, generosity, hospitality, and the refusal to be overcome by evil. He believes that love is demonstrated by what we actually do. Genuine love is not simply something we feel; it is something we do for others and for ourselves. It is about giving and receiving because it is grounded in God. And that reminds me of Dolly Parton.
Dolly’s life was grounded in love. When she left The Porter Wagoner Show, she wrote one of the most popular love songs in America. She and Porter were not lovers; they were partners who had performed together for seven years to immense popularity and success. But Dolly wanted to see what she could do as a solo artist. Porter did not want her to leave, and so, after an argument, Dolly went home one day and wrote “I Will Always Love You.” She came back the next day and played the song for him. It moved him to tears and allowed him to let her go.
Paul says, “Let love be genuine.” Dolly’s song, written for Porter, was inspired by the genuine love and gratitude she felt for him. Years later, Porter would sue Dolly for a million dollars. Yet instead of an ugly breakup and bitter feelings, she wished him joy and happiness. She even went to see him as he was dying to express her gratitude for him and for the opportunities he had given her. She did not hold on to the hurt. She held fast to what was good.
That genuine love flowed through Dolly Parton’s life—not only in her music but also in her philanthropy. Dolly didn’t just sing about love; she demonstrated it. Of all her charitable acts, the Imagination Library may be the most notable. For more than thirty years, Dolly has been giving books to children to inspire them to learn to read. She started the Imagination Library as a tribute to her father, who could not read or write. She said, “He was the smartest man I have ever known, but I know in my heart his inability to read probably kept him from fulfilling all his dreams.” To date, the Imagination Library has given more than 300 million books to children around the world.
Paul follows his exhortation to let love be genuine by telling us what genuine love looks like. The list we read in Romans 12 is not simply another set of rules for Christians to follow. It is guidance on how to love others. Dolly’s love for her father flowed through her into something that contributed to the needs of others—to the needs of the saints—even when those “saints” were under five years old.
Paul’s guidance in how to love genuinely includes humility and encouragement of others: “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.” He reminds us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.” And he tells us, “So far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Paul knows that the work of building up the kingdom is the work of building up one another.
When I think about Dolly Parton, I remember all the times I saw her lifting up someone else—giving Whitney Houston the Grammy for her version of “I Will Always Love You” and, years later, weeping at the news of her death. I remember her television shows, where she would tell children that they were special. And I remember her self-deprecating humor that helped put everyone around her at ease. Kelly Ripa once interviewed Dolly and asked her to participate in a lightning round of questions. Dolly agreed. The first question was, “What is your favorite color?” Without skipping a beat, Dolly said, “Clairol number 249.” She held herself lightly, but she knew her gifts and was secure in who she was. She never seemed threatened by the gifts of others. Instead, she could make space for them.
I think this is part of what Paul is trying to teach us when he encourages us to live in harmony with one another. If we have genuine love for ourselves—if we know that we are beloved children of God—then it is easier to make space for others without feeling threatened by them, even when they have opposing views or differing beliefs.
My aunt and I are as far apart theologically, politically, and socially as two people can be. But instead of talking about conservative versus progressive issues, we can laugh at one another’s silly jokes, share memories, talk about dogs, and both agree that Dolly Parton was a real inspiration to many. We hold space for one another because we love one another. And it is that genuine love that binds us together.
Dolly Parton left a lasting legacy, not simply because she was successful, but because she understood something about what it means to love genuinely. She always gave credit to God for bestowing the gift of music upon her. And because she understood that everything she had came from God, it was not difficult for her to give back to the world through her songs, through her charity, and through her joy.
I wonder if that is not the bottom line of what Paul is trying to tell us: genuine love can only ever be shared—given and received.
We don’t create love. We receive it from God, and then we have the opportunity to give it away. And when we do, genuine love builds us up. It makes room for others. It allows us to celebrate one another, forgive one another, and live together even when we disagree. Genuine love only and always builds us up; it never tears anyone down.
Dolly Parton ended every concert and television show with words of genuine love, so in tribute to her and Paul, I offer them to you today:
I hope life treats you kind,
And I hope you have all you ever dreamed of.
I wish you joy, and I wish you happiness.
But above all of this, I wish you love.
Amen