From the Rector…
The first and only time I ever served as an acolyte was in sixth grade. At the time, we were still Roman Catholic, and my father badgered the priest until he finally acquiesced and allowed me to serve. I was to be the very first female acolyte at Queen of Peace. I remember watching the altar boys who served in that role every Sunday. They wore red cassocks with white surplices and performed their duties admirably. I wanted to be one of them, but I knew girls weren’t allowed. My father knew my secret desire, as he shared it too. One day, after meeting with the parish priest, he came home to tell me that I would serve at the altar the next Sunday. I was beyond excited.
On my first Sunday as an acolyte, we arrived at church early so I could receive instructions on what to do. The priest and another altar boy showed me how to carry the cross, where to sit, and when to ring the Sanctus bells. I paid close attention and practiced several times before the service began. I especially focused on lifting the cross out of its stand and placing it back in, as the hole in the floor was very narrow, and the cross had to fit perfectly. I still felt a little nervous, but I was also excited to serve at the altar for the first time.
We went to the vesting room and changed into our robes. Then it was time to get the cross and prepare for the procession. The other two acolytes and I went to the front of the church and picked up the cross and torches we would carry, and returned to the back of the nave. The priest, who had been adjusting the altar, soon followed. The procession began and I led the choir and altar party down the aisle. I was beaming, and so were my parents. Everything felt heavenly—the music, the incense, the sunlight streaming through the high windows—it was a perfect day.
As I stood at the front of the church, holding the cross high and focused on the life size crucifix behind the altar, I felt God’s presence surround me. I didn’t know what God had in store for me in the world, but in that moment, I felt that nothing was impossible. And then, I discovered how very wrong I was.
As we placed the cross and torches in position, I realized something was blocking the cross from returning to its hole in the floor. The two boys with the torches didn’t seem to have any trouble; their wooden poles fit back into place. As they waited for me to adjust the cross, one of them finally leaned down to help guide the end of the pole. But the cross still wouldn’t drop into its hole. The other acolyte knelt down and discovered that, in the time it had taken for me to retrieve and process with the cross, someone had wedged a piece of wood into the hole. Despite their efforts, neither of the boys could remove the wood. The priest, growing frustrated with our efforts, in a voice loud enough to be heard over the music and without leaving his place at the altar, told us to, “Lean it against the wall and go sit down.” I was mortified.
On our way to the pew, one of the boys stepped on my foot, causing me to stumble and kick the Sanctus bells, which went flying across the floor. I fervently prayed that the floor would just swallow me up. The priest glared at us.
It wasn’t until sometime later that I overheard a conversation of my father’s and realized that the priest had set me up to fail that day. My father was so angry about the incident that not long after, we left Queen of Peace and began attending St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. Although I am grateful that we became Episcopalian, I have always carried the lessons of my one and only experience as an acolyte: I can’t achieve my goals if others don’t support my purpose; those in authority must hold great respect for the power they have to encourage or eviscerate another’s self-worth; when things seem bleak, there is always opportunity for something new to happen; and, always carry a pair of pliers when you acolyte.
Light and Life,
Candice+
P. S. Three of our four acolytes served for the first time this past Sunday, and they were all amazing. It is a joy to see our young people stepping out of their own comfort zones and giving of themselves in service of our Lord and CoA.