From the Rector…
One of the fascinating things about having a dog pack is watching how they engage with one another. Since Charlie joined the pack, there have certainly been some adjustments in behavior. But what is striking is that I don’t think the behavior is necessarily different. Rather, Charlie seems to highlight patterns of behavior I had not noticed before.
Charlie brings his own version of chaos into the house. You might remember that his nickname is “the Kraken.” It isn’t that he is intentionally trying to be a troublemaker; he is simply learning what life is like in the Frazer household. He has more freedom than he has ever had before, and that gets him into a little trouble every now and then—not to mention that Petunia the Instigator can stir him up quicker than anything.
When Charlie gets a little too wild—either because he is stir-crazy or Petunia has triggered him—Steve and I begin to get a little more anxious. We are part of the pack, even if we aren’t covered in fur and don’t slobber quite as much. We usually try to calm him down, which often results in him getting even crazier, or we run him to the back door and let him burn it off outside.
Cutty is the sweetest to Charlie when he is in wild mode. He simply lies down and rolls over, submitting to Charlie. The other day, Charlie still wasn’t calming down even after Cutty submitted to him. Cutty looked over at us, and we nodded, giving him permission to settle Charlie down by standing up for himself. Cutty understood the assignment. He immediately barked at Charlie and snipped at him. Whether it was shock or a sudden respect for Cutty, Charlie immediately calmed down—and has been more respectful of him ever since.
Archie simply disengages whenever Charlie gets too wild. He jumps out of bed in the morning and finds refuge on the couch. If we are outside, he hides in the bushes. Archie’s pattern when it comes to conflict or anxiety is to distance himself. But disconnecting doesn’t stop the Kracken; it just lets Archie off the hook.
Petunia, on the other hand, is the one who best calms the beast. Though she will often ignite him, she does so only when it pleases her. If Charlie is going wild at an inappropriate time, she will growl and snap at him, sometimes even taking his muzzle in her mouth and lowering him to the floor. She doesn’t hurt him. She simply knows how to handle him, even though he is more than twice her size.
Each of us absorbs and responds to the anxiety of Charlie in different ways. Cutty moves toward conflict. Archie distances himself. Steve and I tend to overfunction or underfunction. Petunia, however, seems to remain grounded enough to respond rather than simply react.
Charlie is part of our pack, just like each of the rest of us. He responds to the pack, and we respond to him. Some of our responses are healthier than others, but all of them reveal patterns in the way we experience anxiety. Our anxiety is not caused by Charlie; it is our response to our perception of what is happening. In other words, it isn’t simply the thing itself that makes us anxious, but how we experience and respond to it.
Charlie Is not a problem, but sometimes his wildness causes anxiety. Knowing that—and recognizing our own patterns of response—can go a long way toward helping us manage our own anxiety or, at the very least, contribute a little less anxiety to the pack.
Jesus was a non-anxious presence. He responded to his disciples in different ways, helping them understand who they were and how they were responding to the world around them. At its most basic level, the Gospel story is a story of relationships. We believe in a God of relationship, and the way we respond to anxiety in the world can tell us a great deal about how we are experiencing one another and, ultimately, God. I wonder if, by noticing the patterns of behavior in our own packs—especially when we contribute to anxiety and when we offer a calming presence—we might begin to discover a little more of the kingdom life Jesus invites us to share.
Light and Life,
Candice+