Genesis 50:15-21; Psalm 103:8-13; Romans 14:1-12; Matthew 18:21-35
The Rev. Drew Brislin
“And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And do not bring us to the time of trial,
but rescue us from the evil one.
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:8b-15
Jesus gives the disciples the Lord’s Prayer a few chapters earlier in Matthew’s Gospel in chapter 6 and it seems fairly self-explanatory so why does Peter ask Jesus again about forgiveness? About how many times are we to forgive? I’d like to think I would have figured all this out but it is always easier to see things from the outside looking in.
A couple of weeks ago in our Thursday morning Men’s Prayer Breakfast gathering we concluded our series of Rob Bell videos called Nooma. This particular video was titled Lump. The premise of the video is that Rob begins to tell a story about discovering a small ball they discover while cleaning up. When trying to figure out where it came from one of his two sons rather nonchalantly says I don’t know. The other also says he doesn’t know, however, seems to say it in a rather anxious way. A few days later and as most of you with siblings can probably guess the brothers got into a tussle. They stop when they hear their mother approaching. The same brother in the same anxious way begins denying that he started the fight. When the mother challenges him about the fight and the ball, he realizes he has been busted. He then proceeds to go find a place to hide. Running from our mistakes often seems like a much easier solution than facing them. The thought of having to admit that you are wrong and the thought of having to ask forgiveness can be torture, however, if we are going to be a part of a healthy family and a healthy community it is something we all must face at some point.
We hear these specific numbers 7 and 77 this morning and when we hear numbers in scripture, they usually are trying to convey something to us. This morning Jesus is continuing to instruct the disciples on how members in this new community of believers will treat each other and when it comes to reconciling, I think Peter is attempting to be extravagantly generous in suggesting that we be willing to forgive seven times. After all, seven is an extremely holy number within scripture often signifying the completion of the Lord’s work and to reverse the sevenfold vengeance God pronounces on those who would harm Cain in the story found in the Old Testament. Yet Jesus says not seven but seventy-seven. It is suggested this was to reverse the pronouncement of vengeance made by Cain’s descendant, Lamech, made later in the Genesis story. Numbers like this though are not literal, not about the actual number rather they are to point to the extravagant grace extended by Jesus. Jesus is saying there is no end to how many times one must be willing to forgive. Jesus is saying, to count how many times to forgive is not really forgiving but is really just biding your time. If we are truly about forgiveness, there must be no limits on what we will do to seek reconciliation. I think we need to realize though that reconciliation and restoration of relationships are two different things. Jesus continues by telling the parable of the unforgiving servant.
So often we want to read parables as allegory and that would seem easy to do this morning. I, however, find it hard to think of God in terms of withholding grace or inflicting punishment. Since coming to the Episcopal Church, I left behind my dualistic views of God as one who punishes. This parable though can make grace sound, if read allegorically, like our forgiveness and God’s grace is contingent on what we do. That God’s grace is contingent on our ability to forgive. However, if we see forgiveness about relationship and about reflecting God’s love out of a desire to be more like God and not about what we get out of it then I think it reframes our relationship with not only each other but with God. The late Desmond Tutu, the former archbishop from South Africa speaks to us in his book The Book of Forgiving about the Fourfold Path to Forgiveness. That when we have been wronged, we have two decisions. We can either seek the path of vengeance that will only lead to a cycle of more violence and hurt, or we can choose the path of healing which requires forgiveness. What is unique about this process is that not only is this process a means to seek forgiveness with others who have wronged us but also a means to offering ourselves forgiveness. While seeking forgiveness and reconciliation and restoration of relationship with others is crucial to how we operate as a community of the holy spirit, I think we must be first and foremost able to forgive ourselves before we can offer or seek that same forgiveness from others.
The young son in the video got caught in a lie and experienced a since of shame that I’m sure all of us have felt on one occasion or another. The video concludes with Rob Bell finding his son covered in sweat because he has been hiding for so long. He then hugs him and tells him that there is nothing he can do to make him love him any less. While there must be an effort on our part to seek reconciliation with ourselves and with those whom we have wronged, we are called to recognize our own humanity so that we may seek and serve that same humanity in others. I think this is the promise of Jesus in his commandment to forgive seventy-seven times. Paul tells us in his letter to the Romans “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39) This is the deep and abiding love that God has for us, and this is the same love that he calls us to share with one another.